Glad you are here today

submitted by an anonymous author, Vancouver BC

There have been many years where I have not fully expressed what I have been through in my life – to many they only see the uplifting, positive, laughing at his own jokes first, smiley guy that doesn’t seem to have any worries. Part of me felt ashamed for having self –harming/ suicidal thoughts 10 years ago…this is no longer the case.

Writing this was sparked by a transformational multi-day personal development event I attended earlier this year. I went with a positive open mind but wasn’t totally sure what I was going to learn – sure, eat better, work out more, work less…but what else? As it turns out – I learned a tonne more!

I had my break through moment on day 2. We were asked to dig deep and talk about what is something that you are holding onto that has been a huge impact on your life. So I started sharing with someone I just met sitting beside me - about when I contemplated hurting myself 10 years ago when driving over a bridge home from work. I literally wanted to pull the wheel to the right and hit the barrier - my eyes were welled up in tears…I had hit a very low depressed point – something that had never happened to me before. Not to go into personal specifics, but in general there was a build up of personal stuff that just compounded to this moment of my lowest depression and I was stuck/angry/scared/sad (you name it I was feeling it).

So after speaking to my best friend about my situation (which I should have done earlier), I ended up leveraging an EAP program at my work and got into counseling…I knew I needed to speak to someone. After several sessions I not only learned the tools and required action plan I needed to take to move forward, but also learned there were other issues from my childhood I had held onto (totally the layers of an onion!). From the EAP counseling I was not only able to get control of my life but also understand what I had been holding on to…and forgive and find gratitude in the life experience and write a new story for myself go forward.

So back to the transformational self development event… the guy who I told this story to, just reached out and hugged me in and said "I’m glad you are here today”. I completely broke down… I didn’t realize I had held on to that story for so long, and in that defining moment I knew that I wanted to share my story with more people in my life – to people that I am close to– AND that I wanted to support Mental Health initiatives at both my workplace and community.

If I can change just one life by giving them the hope and spark them to just speak to someone that it will be ok it is worth it. I would want them to know that they can bounce back, find resilience, and ultimately write their own new narrative going forward. That sometimes there are moments where things seem completely broken but they can be mended; there is support available. That sometimes when the world feels like it just isn’t worth living…that it is. I hope this story helps one person or more. Now if you need help, I encourage you to make your move, make yesterday jealous of today, and speak to someone now, not tomorrow. You deserve it.

submitted by an anonymous author, Vancouver BC

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About CMHA BC Public Policy

We're calling on a system of care that values mental health, addiction, and physical care as equal, #b4stage4
glad you are here today
Glad you are here today
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