submitted by an anonymous author, Vancouver BC
There have been many years where I have not fully expressed what I have been through in my life – to many they only see the uplifting, positive, laughing at his own jokes first, smiley guy that doesn’t seem to have any worries. Part of me felt ashamed for having self –harming/ suicidal thoughts 10 years ago…this is no longer the case.
Writing this was sparked by a transformational multi-day personal development event I attended earlier this year. I went with a positive open mind but wasn’t totally sure what I was going to learn – sure, eat better, work out more, work less…but what else? As it turns out – I learned a tonne more!
submitted by Erin Emiru, Vancouver BC
Imagine you are in a swimming pool - the deep end - and you don't know how to swim. You flail and kick and all your resources are desperate for a gasp of air. You are drowning. But imagine, then, that there is a table placed in the water, one you can climb onto and get your head above the waters. Your life is no longer be focused on bare survival - you can now breathe, and talk, and even sing... you can ask for help, express your needs, and find more to your life than not knowing if you can rise above the deadly depths.
For me, that table is medication. Without it, I drown in my schizophrenia.
submitted by MJ, Vancouver BC
I noticed the beginning of my struggles with mental health as having immense worry and anxiety that bad things were going to happen. The anxiety grew into an increasing fear of contamination that triggered obsessive hand washing and avoidance of places and touching things. Growing up in a family with parents that struggled immensely with their ability to parent, I found myself living my younger years in the wake of adversity. At the time in which I began overeating to find comfort when loneliness and misery would surface, I was not aware that this was a problem. Retrospectively, I see this as the beginning of my eating disorder. I began to be suicidal around the age of thirteen when things in my home had escalated and when my lack of safety became pertinent to me. I left home at the mere age of fifteen seeking a place of security, to later be placed in foster care residing in a group home.
submitted by Susie, Vancouver BC
My name is Susie and I have struggled for years with alcohol addiction. I have had long periods of abstinence and have had some success in Alcoholics Anonymous.
But I have repeatedly relapsed and when I tried to quit cold turkey again, I found the period of agitation, restlessness and sleeplessness afterward so difficult it would interfere with my work. I also beat myself up a lot and so envied others in the group who could proudly share they’d been 10 or 20 years without a drink. It seemed so unattainable to me, it just made me feel worse. The cravings would return and feeling so worthless, I would drink again.